I hate..

I hate that you’re still in my head

I hate what you’ve reduced me to

I hate the memories I can’t get rid of

I hate that you haunt me still

I hate the person I’ve become

I hate that you’ve filled me with doubt

I hate that you made me trust you

When all you had were lies

Now all I’m left with is self doubts

I had drowned in your deceits

Yes I lived to tell the tales

But barely, I barely breathe

I know you’re happy in my misery

After all that was the kind of man you were

Again I hate that I didn’t see it

Didn’t see it behind your smile

But this is not about you at all

This is not about your lies

That is what you are

But the error was mine

Now I hope to correct the past

I hope to love without doubt

I hope to look into his eyes

And know it’ll be different this time

I hope he knows how I hate

That because of you I can’t trust him

I hope that in spite of this

He still won’t give up on me like you did

I hope that he knows I’m not perfect

But I’m trying the best I can

I hope he does what you never had the courage to do

I hope, maybe this time

Someone will prove me wrong